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发表于 2007-6-16 16:07 | 只看该作者

After the life of high school

He whom i like very much was not good at English while English is my favourite subject and i am good at it ,he alway asked me to teach him.But i am not good at teaching ,so i am very sorry for this.
  Now,we are all graduated from shool.I want to stay with him as the time we keep in the school ,but i can't ,because he has gone back to his "old home",that is to say,there will be a long time when i can see him.
  What i want to do now is call him,but i can't call him everytime i miss him.And,the most important is that he keep me as his brother, he has a beautiful girlfriend who is my friend...
  WHO CAN HELP ME TO FORGET A MAN WHO I LIKE VERY MUCH?I DON'T WANT TO LEAD A LIFE WHERE I MISS HIM AFTER THE LIFE OF HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

niwota

力天使

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沙发

发表于 2007-6-16 18:23 | 只看该作者

都不知道你說什麽....

红到刺眼的血,
疼到崩溃的痛,
烙下的印记,
用眼泪冲刷,
撕裂的伤口,
用鲜血祭拜...

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亚特兰帝斯 (MR.Z)

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板凳

发表于 2007-6-16 22:14 | 只看该作者

GOOD!

我也看不懂。

ASP.NET

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122499647 (Angle.)

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活跃会员花花公子 2009聚会纪念

地板

发表于 2007-6-16 23:01 | 只看该作者

有几个错误哦............

是我想太多....

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122499647 (Angle.)

论坛版主

Rank: 13

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活跃会员花花公子 2009聚会纪念

5^#

发表于 2007-6-16 23:08 | 只看该作者

帮你改改

He whom i like very much is(他是以前不擅长还是到现在还不擅长?用is比较恰当吧) not good at English while English is my favourite subject and i am good at it .(这一句已经说完,下一句是另一个开头,所以用句号He alway asked me to teach him,(but与上半句存在转折关系,故应该用逗号)but i am not good at teaching ,so i am very sorry for this.
  Now,we all graduated(去掉are,你们毕业应该是主动吧?怎么是被动的呢?) from shool.I want to stay with him as the time we keep in the school ,but i can't ,because he has gone back to his "old home",that is to say,there will be a long time before(此处用when不恰当) i can see him.
  What i want to do now is call him,but i can't call him everytime i miss him.Besides(and一般不做独立副词),the most important is that he consider(好少见keep as,consider as 把....看作...) me as his brother, he has a beautiful girlfriend who is my friend...
  WHO CAN HELP ME TO FORGET A MAN WHO I LIKE VERY MUCH?I DON'T WANT TO LEAD A LIFE WHERE I MISS HIM AFTER THE LIFE OF HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

是我想太多....

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niwota

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6^#

发表于 2007-6-17 09:53 | 只看该作者

原帖由 122499647 于 2007-6-16 23:08 发表
帮你改改

He whom i like very much is(他是以前不擅长还是到现在还不擅长?用is比较恰当吧) not good at English while English is my favourite subject and i am good at it .(这一句已经说完,下一句是另一 ...